I love catching the bus, sometimes.
This is an audio/transcript of a telephone conversation I overheard/recorded whilst on the bus home today. This chick was what my mum would call ‘rough-as-guts.’ The bus driver tried to tell her to shut up, but she was so riled up that she didn’t even notice he had stopped. A mum tried to help by yelling, “the bus driver is talking to you!”, but instead she looked like an annoying, well..mum.
I’ve tallied a few common words, sentences and phrases which are repeated throughout the conversation. It’s funniest if you listen to the audio and read along.
“cunt” - 3 times (surprisingly, not that many)
“slut” - 3 times
“I dare ya” - 7 times
“ya” - 17 times
“fuck/fuckin’/fucking” - 16 times
longest word used: fucking - 7 letters
_______
Sheila: Yeah ya think? Ya think? You wanna be a smart cunt? Do ya? You wanna be a smart cunt - NO I’m not like that, Debbie. I’m not, I’m not like that. Awww whadare ya gunna - go on. go on. Go on! I dare ya. I dare ya. I daaare ya. I dare ya. I dare ya. I dare ya. I dare ya. How ya gunna get’n? How ya gunna ged in? ssslluuut! HUH?! How ya gunna ged in!? Don’t call me a fuckwit then ya fuckin’ - you can’t.. your husband died fucking two weeks ago (some lady screaming over the top: “the bus driver’s talking to you”) bloke already, ya fuckin’ slut!, alright?! You’ve known him for two fuckin’ days, he went right through my fuckin’ house, Debbie. He went right through my fuckin’ house. He went to take my fuckin’ wallet and you sayin’ you had fuckin’ YES HE FUCKIN’ DID! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY THAT YOU STU-PID-FUC-KING-SLUT! YOU WAIT TILL I FUKIN’ SEE YOU, CUNT! YOU ROCK UP AT MY HOUSE, YOU ARE FUCKING GONE YOU FUCKING DOG!
They’re comin’ over
Guy: y’fuckin’ kiddin’ whaddarya fuckin’ doin’ mate.
This completely made my day. What a joker.
